Am I Stressed… or is this Anxiety? Tips From an Anxiety Therapist
There are so many times I get asked whether an experience or a response or a feeling is “normal.”
“Should I be feeling this way?”
“Isn’t that valid?”
“Do you think it’s weird that I reacted in this way?”
Let’s be honest here — does an abnormal / unhealthy response or behavior exist? OF COURSE! But the range of “normal” or “reasonable” or even “healthy” is actually pretty wide. Humans are so varied, and we encounter a LOT in our day to day lives that we have to manage, fend off, or recover from.
When it comes to anxiety, this question is usually presented as a choice between stressed and anxious. And when my patient is a high-achieving woman, she often leans toward the stress explanation.
“I just can’t stop thinking about all the things that might go wrong. I have so many things to juggle right now. My friend was telling me I need to stop being so anxious, but I mean… I’m just stressed! If she had this schedule she’d be stressed too.”
This patient could very well be correct. Stress and anxiety tend to manifest very similarly in the body — fatigue, irritability, sleep issues, increased heart rate, digestive troubles — and the mind, with racing thoughts that you struggle to shift to a different topic.
If that’s the case, then, what’s the real difference there? Is it stress, or is it anxiety?
What’s the cause?
First, let’s look at causation. Are your feelings tied to real life situations and events that are currently happening? Or are your thoughts stuck on issues that are either (1) hypothetical or (2) future-oriented?
Stressed thoughts could look like “UGH I have so much to do today. It seriously makes me feel sick just thinking about getting all of this done,” or “if someone gives me one more task I’m going to freaking lose it.” Irritable and uncomfortable, yes, but the content of the thoughts stays in the real world that’s happening right now.
Most of the time, the way anxiety interacts with real life situations is a bit different. While a busy schedule can make you currently stressed, anxiety often looks more like worry about next steps. “I have ten million things to get done today. What if I can’t finish them? What if I don’t do them well? Will I ever have a day where I’m not just sprinting? If I can’t get these done that means I’m not cut out for this. I’ll never be able to take a break.”
Here we can see some classic anxiety red flags: the “what if…” thoughts, the “and that means…” thoughts, the escalation (“spiraling”). Though it feels like many of these thoughts are tied to current situations, anxiety ramps the intensity up much further than stress would.
Anxiety thoughts can also be pretty detached from reality. Apropos of nothing, anxiety can just come at you with things like “what if you get in a car crash on the way home from work today?” (Like DAMN anxiety, can you let me live?! Rude.)
What other data might help me figure this out?
Another important piece to consider is the severity of the feeling. I often tell my patients that if you stub your toe (let’s say its’ a 3 out of 10 on the injury scale), your pain level should reflect what happened (a 3 out of 10 on the pain scale). If the pain exceeds the cause (your pain is an 8 but should be a 3), something else is going on — maybe you toe was already broken.
Emotional pain isn’t different. If you feel like the trigger and the response are the same level, that’s really helpful information to know! Some events are a freaking 9 out of 10, and your stress would then also be a 9 out of 10… and as awful as that would feel, that’s appropriate.
On the other hand, if you’re feeling like your worry is often outpacing the situation, you may be experiencing a clinical level of anxiety.
What do I do?
Whether you’re dealing with stress or anxiety, basic self-care can actually go a long way. Take care of your body, mind, and soul in ways that genuinely nurture you. The building blocks of self-care I mention in those posts are never the wrong choice — they are the foundation of wellness, and simple as they are, I really stand by them.
Self-care may not be enough for either situation, though. Just because stress may be “appropriate” given your circumstances, that doesn’t mean it never deserves attention. If you’re thinking of seeking therapy to deal with genuine stress — even if you’re confident it’s not anxiety — I encourage you to do so!
If those anxiety thoughts felt like they hit a little close to home, an anxiety therapist can help. I can’t take away the stressors, and for so many of my patients they wouldn’t want me to — it’s stressful to live a full, active, high-achieving life! You’ve got a lot on your plate, but sometimes that’s because you want it there! This is why finding the right fit is important. Seeing an anxiety therapist who specializes in working with high-achieving women can help you decrease your anxiety while maintaining all of the parts of you that — let’s be honest — make you a badass. Find a therapist who encourages you to reach your potential with less anxiety rather than one who tells you to back off from your dreams because you’re “too anxious.” You’ve got this — therapy can just make it more comfortable while you’re doing it.
Figure Out Your Stress and Anxiety with the Help of Therapy for Anxiety in New Orleans, LA
Navigating these waters can be tricky. When you’re a high-achiever who encounters stress daily but needs support for anxiety, working with a therapist who specializes in your situation is key. Reach out to Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D. and start your journey to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Begin meeting with skilled anxiety therapist, Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.
Start piecing apart stress and anxiety to get to a healthier, happier you!
Other Services Offered With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.
Are you a high-achieving woman struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, life transitions, and more? Therapy with Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D. can help you work through your struggles or challenges to begin managing and coping with your symptoms in healthy ways. So in addition to navigating whether you’re experiencing stress or anxiety in Therapy for Anxiety, I offer Therapy for Women for those who struggle with burnout, stress, work-life balance, navigating relationships, and more. I also provide Therapy for Perfectionism for those struggling to overcome their symptoms and stress of feeling perfect all the time. In my practice, I provide online services for those in Louisiana and Virginia. For more about me check out my About Me page, Blog, and YouTube channel.