Goal Setting for Anxious Perfectionists
You’d think a perfectionist’s favorite thing would be creating and achieving goals, wouldn’t you? Just like… setting them up and knocking them out of the park on the regular. (Oof, I should stick to nerd analogies, sportsball is not my thing. I think I may have pulled a muscle there.) Just finding the perfect goal and achieving it in the perfect way to reach the perfect outcome. Super casual.
If you’re actually dealing with perfectionistic anxiety, though, you may think that idea is laughable. For many high-achieving women I work with, their anxiety is not what drives them to do great things and set BHAGs (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals, for anyone not in the know). In fact, most of the time they are actively working to fight their anxiety in order to set those goals, much less reach them! It’s like sword fighting in two directions at once.
Anxious perfectionists often do know that they need to set goals in order to achieve what they want, but nine times out of ten it’s that very first step that’s got them roadblocked. How can I make sure I’m heading in the right direction if my goal isn’t perfect? (That’s a recipe for being stuck in perfect inaction, folks — watch the video above for more info!)
Because here’s my big question — what even is a perfect goal?
Research on goal-setting even shows that perfect goals aren’t the… goal. (Dr. Rebecca, winner of the best written sentence award right here 🏆). We need goals to help us move forward — without them, we run the risk of never moving at all (ahem, perfect inaction LINK). But reaching your exact original goal isn’t always best.
I wouldn’t leave you hanging without some journal prompts to think about this further! (Got your back, girl.) If you’d like, I invite you to free write these for 10 minutes and see where you can get unstuck:
What super big picture goals do I know I already have for myself? (Or if this vibe feels better — generally what do I want out of life? No specifics needed.)
What are the areas of my life where it feels easy to set goals? Which areas feel more off limits for goal setting? (Academics / career, finances, family, friends, hobbies, romance, health, etc.)
It can be uncomfortable to set a goal that feels imperfect, unachievable, or unsure… but I know you’re working to self-soothe through discomfort when it’s in service of your values!
What other risks are there besides discomfort to setting imperfect goals?
Are these risks worth the outcome?
What fears come up when considering these outcomes?
What’s the worst case scenario… and how would you recover from that? What resources would you need to do so?
It can be uncomfortable to pivot from a goal once it’s been set… but again, you’re working on that! Build a check-in system with yourself to periodically investigate whether it’s time for a pivot and explore how you’d make that happen.
Set Better Goals with the Help of Therapy for Anxiety in New Orleans, LA
Is your goal setting being impacted by perfectionistic anxiety? Working with a therapist who specializes in your situation is key. Reach out to Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D. and start your journey to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Begin meeting with skilled anxiety therapist, Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.
Start piecing apart stress and anxiety to get to a healthier, happier you!
Other Services Offered With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.
Are you a high-achieving woman struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, life transitions, and more? Therapy with Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D. can help you work through your struggles or challenges to begin managing and coping with your symptoms in healthy ways. So in addition to navigating whether you’re experiencing stress or anxiety in Therapy for Anxiety, I offer Therapy for Women for those who struggle with burnout, stress, work-life balance, navigating relationships, and more. I also provide Therapy for Perfectionism for those struggling to overcome their symptoms and stress of feeling perfect all the time. In my practice, I provide online services for those in Louisiana and Virginia. For more about me check out my About Me page, Blog, and YouTube channel.