Finding Balance in the Chaos, Part I: Why Staying Busy Isn’t Helping Your Anxiety
Let’s play a little game — raise your hand if you’re the busiest one in your family. Raise your hand if your schedule is jam-packed even now, as we approach the summer and life slows down for most of us. Raise your hand if your Google calendar is like a solid wall of meetings, tasks, projects, to-dos, and reminders.
Raise your hand if it feels like you’re totally swamped all. the. time.
The Link Between Anxiety and Saying Yes
Last month I wrote a bit about the link between anxiety and the difficulty with saying no. One factor I want to return to on this topic is the idea that, when it comes to our schedules, saying yes to filling up our hours with tasks and to-dos can actually be (gasp!) a toxic coping strategy.
Maintaining busyness not only overtakes all the time we need to cope appropriately but also allows us to keep sprinting and thinking about the outside world, drowning out the inner voice that might be trying to alert us to how we’re actually feeling. “That’s great, though!” You may be thinking. “That voice is REALLY ANXIOUS. I don’t want to hear what she has to say!”
I get it. That voice feels terrible, and honestly, it rarely has anything of value to say. Instead of relying on your overachieving schedule to keep you too busy to cope, though, I think you’ll agree that actually addressing the anxiety will be a more effective and longer-lasting solution.
Avoidance: Our Favorite Coping Strategy
As humans, one of our very favorite coping strategies for anxiety is avoidance. It feels so good, doesn’t it? If you’re dealing with a huge dumpster fire, you want to get as far away from it as possible. Turn your back, don’t look at it! And that’s often what anxiety feels like — wild, out of control, dangerous. So we ignore, avoid, and fill our schedules with our little tasky tasks (or our giant, impressive projects) so that we’re just toooooo busy to look at them.
(Even if you feel like you ruminate/obsess/hold tightly to anxiety more than you avoid it, there are often avoidant features here too. Panicking while describing the dumpster fire and going through all of the burning debris weirdly gives you an opportunity to avoid the step back it takes to consider how to put the fire out. For example, if you’re stuck in the rumination spiral, you may be avoiding the idea of taking uncomfortable action to change your situation for the better.)
If this sounds like you, what you need is a path that gives you the ability to dial down the chaos, face the fire, and still feel ok. As an anxiety therapist, do I have ideas, tips, and solutions that are less challenging? Of course! (Check out these blogs on body, mind, and soul-based care.)
When Simple Strategies Aren’t Enough
But I want to be perfectly honest with you — if you’ve tried those simpler strategies and they’re not working, we need a bigger weapon here. We’re gonna need to do more.
Real coping requires both (1) sustained attention and (2) the ability to actively direct our thoughts. In our increasingly distracted world, this isn’t easy to come by.
Next week I’m diving into some genuinely powerful tools to build those exact skills. In the meantime, if your anxiety is out of control and you’re ready to stop stuffing your schedule, I do encourage you to set aside one of those very busy hours for a weekly therapy for anxiety session. Your anxiety will be so pissed (she doesn’t want to leave the party!), but you, my friend, will feel relieved.
Find Balance in the Chaos With Therapy For Anxiety in New Orleans, LA
Are you a millennial woman struggling to find balance amidst the chaos of anxiety and life's demands? It's time to prioritize your well-being and reclaim your peace. Reach out to Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D. to see if therapy for anxiety is right for you and take the first step towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Begin meeting with skilled anxiety therapist, Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.
Start finding balance in your life!
Other Services Offered With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.
Are you a millennial struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, life transitions, and more? With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D., I can help you work through your struggles or challenges to begin managing and coping with your symptoms in healthy ways. So in addition to helping you find balance with your anxiety in Therapy for Anxiety, I offer Therapy for Women for those who struggle with burnout, stress, work-life balance, navigating relationships, and more! I also provide Therapy for Perfectionism for those struggling to overcome their symptoms and stress of feeling perfect all the time. At my practice, I provide online services for those in Louisiana and Virginia. For more about me check out my About Me page and Blog!