Finding Balance in the Chaos, Part II: Real-Life Tools for Managing Anxiety ~For Overachievers~

I think for some readers, last week’s essay might have hit a little too close to home. The idea that our productivity may be fueling our anxiety is kind of harsh! (Did any of my fellow millennials just go “That was way harsh, Tai” in a perfect Cher Horowitz voice? Just me?)

But it’s true — keeping busy can be a mechanism of avoidance. As we said last week, coping requires both (1) sustained attention and (2) the ability to actively direct our thoughts. If you find yourself continually overwhelmed, self-soothing by overfilling your schedule, and struggling to manage the chaos, it might be time to consider seeking therapy for anxiety.

It won’t be easy, but I know you. I know you’re capable of more. You are resilient, impressive, and driven. You are such a badass!! And if you’ve got allllllll that is going for you and you’re still struggling with anxiety, still over-filling your schedule to self-soothe, and still feeling like you can’t keep the chaos in check, you need the big guns, baby.

Here’s what I recommend to build that effective blend of attention and direction:

Tool #1 — Get Rid of Social Media

I honestly have no idea how you may feel about this suggestion. A few years (or even months) ago, I would expect every single reader to close out the page right here. “Get rid of social media??? Ridiculous! We love scrolling, I’m not even considering that!”

These days, however, I think there’s just enough of this type of advice in the general zeitgeist to protect me from sounding completely out of touch. Maybe you’ve considered deleting TikTok or Instagram yourself, or have even flirted with a digital detox weekend every now and then.

My Argument Against Social Media

My reasoning behind this suggestion is twofold. First, quite simply, we all know that the actual content we consume on social media usually doesn’t make us feel great. Maybe it makes us feel less-than or it ramps up our panic about the state of the world (I mean, fair).

But I think the second reason is more important. While one can argue that the content they’re consuming is fulfilling (and maybe it is!), the process is actually impeding our ability to defend our mental health. Remember, coping and self-soothing requires both (1) sustained attention and (2) the ability to actively direct or redirect our thoughts. Short-form content (e.g., the quick videos that make up social media) impairs our ability to sustain attention on anything for more than a few seconds, squashing our ability to perform that first task. It also keeps us dissociated and distracted, relying on external soothing (like happy videos) to cope rather than practicing grounding (task #2).

Even when the content we see makes us feel great, the delivery of the content (i.e., the process) makes it much harder to build and maintain the coping skills we need to manage anxiety. Not only that, it screws with our sleep and takes time away from other pursuits that could add meaning and joy to our lives.

For high-achieving women, however, there’s one more factor that keeps us hooked to social media — the feeling that we’re using it to be productive. Oof. I know. It feels like this lovely little loophole, doesn’t it? Like, “I’m exhausted, I’m anxious, I’m stressed… let’s just scroll for a bit, because I can’t just do nothing, and if I find some cool recipes or entrepreneur tips or I stay informed, at least I’m not just vegging out.” Hmm. I know that feels true, but you can see the holes in this argument. The above issues with attention etc. are still all true, and let’s be honest — if Instagram made you less anxious, you’d feel less anxious after scrolling. I’m willing to bet that’s not what’s happening to you.

Tool #2 — Get Grounded

I know I’m repetitive, but truly — build a meditation practice. Do it! The cure for dissociation, distraction, poor attention, and difficulty redirecting your thoughts is learning how to ground.

You don’t have to be good at it, you just need to be consistent. In fact, you don’t even have to actually meditate, you can try other mindfulness activities if you prefer. Here’s a favorite of mine — every time you brush your teeth, focus on your 5 senses. Focus on the minty smell, the feel of the bristles, the weight of your body sinking into the soles of your feet, the shhhh shhhh shhh sound, the sharp taste of the toothpaste, the sight of your shiny smile in the mirror. That’s it! You basically meditated right there.

Do I think you should meditate for the two hours per day you’re on TikTok? Noooope. Not at all. Even I think that would be ridiculous. Just take 2-5 min, every single day, and allow yourself to be in your body. That’s it. Trust me — I’ve worked myself out of a job multiple times as patients get better and better at this! And I’m thrilled every time it happens.

Tool #3 — Get an Anxiety Therapist

Interestingly, while you’d think this was the heaviest tool here (after all, it’s the only one that’s asking you to make a literal appointment with a real person), it’s actually the advice that many people take before they even consider the first two solutions.

Here’s a secret, though — even if you decide to bite the bullet and book a session with an anxiety therapist, you’ll need to make space to implement the tools she recommends. That’s why I genuinely recommend tools 1 & 2.

You’ve Got This

Here’s all I ask — try it for one week. Delete the apps, find a meditation teacher with a voice you like, and get back into your body for seven days. None of this is permanent, and none of it will hurt you. Invest in yourself and your brain and your coping, and I think you’ll love the results.

Find Balance in The Chaos With Therapy for Anxiety in New Orleans, LA

Feeling overwhelmed by your anxiety? Take action and cut out social media, ground yourself through mindfulness, and seek support from an anxiety therapist at Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D. You deserve peace of mind—start reclaiming it with therapy for anxiety. Follow these three simple steps to get started:

1. Contact Rebcca AE Smith, PhD. to schedule an appointment

2. Begin meeting with skilled anxiety therapist, Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.

3. Start finding balance and peace from the anxiety in your life!

Other Services Offered With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.

Are you a millennial struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, life transitions, and more? With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D., I can help you work through your struggles or challenges to begin managing and coping with your symptoms in healthy ways. So in addition to helping you find tools that help you find peace and balance for your anxiety in Therapy for Anxiety, I offer Therapy for Women for those who struggle with burnout, stress, work-life balance, navigating relationships, and more! I also provide Therapy for Perfectionism for those struggling to overcome their symptoms and stress of feeling perfect all the time. At my practice, I provide online services for those in Louisiana and Virginia. For more about me check out my About Me page and Blog!