Thriving, Not Just Surviving: Using Therapy for Women to Control the Treadmill of Ambition
When I first brainstormed this post, the title was “Is your ambition making you miserable?” But pretty soon I realized I just had to ditch it. Not only was it too clickbait-y (ew), but I also kind of hated the idea of it. I don’t know about you but as a business owner with a Ph.D., I’m so sick of reading about the death of the girl boss or the demise of hustle culture. Were these ideas/fads great for high-achieving women? NO! I know, they were pretty terrible. But the pendulum swings all the way back to “maybe we should just stop striving, capitalism won’t let us reach our goals anyway” which might be just as bad.
So no, I’m not here to tell you your ambition is your enemy. We can be proud of our ambition! Achievement can be celebrated! We don’t need to be all-or-nothing about this.
At its core, though, I have to admit, I think the concept of feeling trapped by your high-achieving nature does have some merit. In a world that often celebrates the hustle and the relentless pursuit of success (at the same time as it ridicules us for it, ugh), ambition can feel like a treadmill that’s going too fast. The drive for success, while commendable, can sometimes become a relentless cycle leading to burnout, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and the all-too-prevalent imposter syndrome. As a therapist for women, I have had countless conversations around the idea, “When is it ok to stop striving?” I have also witnessed firsthand the way individuals can use therapy for women to not only navigate but also control this treadmill, turning their ambitions into sources of fulfillment rather than stressors.
Perfectionism: The High Achiever’s Favorite Frenemy
Ambitious women often grapple with overcoming perfectionism. A silent saboteur that propels them forward on the treadmill of ambition but at a pretty painful, anxious cost. Your high standards can be a positive trait. But if this isn’t tempered with a little balance (and REST, my friends!), Constant striving can lead to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction. You may reach your goals, but your anxiety just gets bigger.
Feel like that might describe you? Therapy for women in New Orleans, LA can help you explore the roots of perfectionism in your own history, gain a better understanding of your high standards, and develop healthier ways of approaching your goals. You want your ambition to be a catalyst for intentional, value-driven development, not a source of stress. Therapy can help you get there using positive motivation — rather than anxious perfectionism — as your fuel.
Anxiety: Navigating the Storm
Don’t feel like you’re all that perfectionistic but still feel like that treadmill is out of control. There are also times when hitting goal after goal actually gives rise to anxiety. The more you achieve, the higher the expectations become. You may find yourself overwhelmed by the constant pressure to perform, meet deadlines, and excel in multiple roles. Unlike perfectionism, however, this pressure may start to be present in your environment too, not just in your head. Your boss, your friends, and your employees see your achievement and genuinely expect more. The pressure keeps building.
In these cases, therapy can equip you with coping mechanisms to manage both the interpersonal issues and the internal anxiety. Anxiety therapy in New Orleans, LA can help to reframe anxious thoughts, challenge negative self-talk, and cultivate a more compassionate inner dialogue that will help you regulate stress, establish healthy boundaries, and prioritize self-care. Through these techniques, the treadmill of ambition becomes less daunting, allowing women to move forward with confidence and resilience.
Imposter Syndrome: Breaking Free from Self-Doubt
Doesn’t it really tell you something that it’s the most ambitious, genuinely high-achieving people who most frequently grapple with imposter syndrome? That nagging feeling of being undeserving of their success hits hardest where it’s least warranted. The really annoying result is often increased perfectionism, worsening anxiety, and, yes… even more high achievement. You know, just to prove you’re worthy. But that extra gold star also serves as a subconscious reward for all of that negative motivation, and the cycle just gets worse as it continues.
When I work with imposter syndrome in therapy, we explore the origins of imposter syndrome for the individual specifically (*coughit’sthepatriarchycoughcough*) (but really, we all have our own flavor and our own history with this issue, and we’ll get to the root of it). My bigger goal then is to collaborate with my patients in an effort to reframe distorted thoughts, build self-esteem, and develop a sense of authentic self-worth.
Therapy with Ambition: Value-Driven Achievement
Although perfectionism, anxiety, and even imposter syndrome can feel motivating, the truth is there are much more effective — and much less painful — ways of reaching your goals. When we kick those meanies out of the driver’s seat and establish your values as your main motivation, you’ll feel more in control of your ambition and more empowered in your achievements. Amazingly, research has also shown that this is not only healthier, it’s more effective! Your ambition is a superpower, not a brutal taskmaster. It should feel fulfilling, and I hope you can get to a place where it finally does.
Balance: A Worthy Goal (trust me!)
The second title I came up with for this post (which I like better but needed a tuneup), was “You’re high achieving and that’s hard too.” And I want to let you know I truly see that and I genuinely believe that. We’re the ones who do it all, for our families, our careers, and our social circles. And while it looks pretty magnificent, I know the burden of it too. So please know this — just because it feels better to be the exceptional one doesn’t mean it’s always good for you, and being spectacular doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help. Take care of yourself, and know that balance looks pretty damn impressive too.
Ready to Thrive With the Help of Therapy for Women in New Orleans, LA?
Are you seeking therapy for women to address perfectionism, anxiety, and imposter syndrome? If so, embark on a journey of discovery. Navigate toward specialized spaces where your struggles find understanding and expert support with Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D., reclaiming your worth and authenticity in a sanctuary designed for women's healing. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
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Other Services Offered With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.
Are you a millennial struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, life transitions, imposter syndrome, and more? With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D., an online therapy practice in New Orleans, I can help you work through your struggles or challenges to begin coping with your symptoms in healthy ways in Therapy for Women. I also provide Therapy for Perfectionism for those struggling to overcome their symptoms. My services are offered online for those in the state of Louisiana and in Virginia. For more about me check out my About Me and Blog!