5 Signs of Anxiety in High Achieving Women
If you’re a high-achiever like so many of my patients, it can be a bit difficult to determine if what you’re experiencing is “really anxiety,” particularly since you’re still able to get so much done. Is it really anxiety if you’re successfully running your own business? Or if you’re being considered for a big promotion? Or if you’re getting all A’s? Or if you’re “the ok one” in your family?
The answer, of course, is YEP. Does it feel like anxiety? Are the thoughts setting off anxiety red flags? Then it probably is. But if you’re not sure, here are a few symptoms of anxiety that are particularly common for high-achieving women. Any of these ring a bell?
1) Overthinking and Excessive Worry
Like I’ve said before, anxiety is both a physical and a mental issue. On the cognitive side of things, this usually means overthinking and excessive worry. (Take a look at this blog post about recognizing anxious thoughts for more tips in this area.)
For high-achievers, I’ve found that the content of this worried thinking tends to be about performance or responsibility — “Did I study enough for that test?” “I know my partner said they’d pick up dinner, but maybe I should grab it just in case, because I don’t want them to think I’m dropping the ball.”
If perfectionism is something you’re dealing with, overly anxious thoughts might also center around the opinions of others or whether you can meet internal or external expectations. “What if my editor doesn’t think this book is as good as my last one?” “What if I made a typo on that email I sent to my boss?” “I really have to prep perfectly for this case. This is simply not the time I can make a mistake.”
Basically, if your head feels too loud, check in with yourself. Anxiety might be the culprit.
2) Negative Self-Talk
Not only are you overthinking, but those thoughts are mean. The voice in your head is critical and loves digging through all of your accomplishments and successes to find every flaw it can possibly highlight. Nothing is good enough, and, quite simply, you suck.
While this is often a symptom of depression, anxious thoughts can also be extremely critical. In my experience the anxious ones have an additional flavor of “and that means” sprinkled at the end. “Omg you can’t even get to the carpool lane on time! You can’t do anything right!… and that means your kids will feel abandoned, and that means you’re a terrible mom, and that means…” That spiral right there is the red flag of anxiety — catastrophization.
3) Perfectionism or Imposter Syndrome
We might think of perfectionism or imposter syndrome as their own issues, but at their core, these are usually symptoms of anxiety. For many high-achievers, seeking perfection is actually a really safe route (it’s almost its own avoidance behavior — stick with excellence and avoid challenges that expose your humanity). The problem comes in when (1) perfection can’t be attained, and (2) the quest for perfection is coupled with those anxiously negative thoughts.
Imposter syndrome is similar. This symptom is primarily cognitive, or thought-based, and is just one specific flavor of that negative overthinking. Despite ample evidence of success and qualifications, these anxious thoughts whisper that you’re a fraud and you’ll be found out. If that’s not a wildly anxious thought, I don't know what is.
4) Avoidance Behaviors and Procrastination
You’re usually a go-getter, but lately you’re avoiding or putting off so many situations or tasks — particularly ones you feel like you might fail at or ones that carry a heavier emotional burden.
You may not be avoiding everything. In fact, your schedule may be extremely full (ahem, see the next symptom). But you can tell there are areas that your brain has designated as off-limits. You’d benefit from tackling these head-on and not procrastinating them, but that makes you feel a bit sick and sets your thoughts on a downward spiral.
5) Overcommitment
This one is a BIGGIE for so many high-achieving women. Taking on too many responsibilities can be a direct symptom of anxiety, particularly if you’re dealing with perfectionism.
Cruelly, overcommitment sometimes feels like evidence that you don’t need help for your anxiety… even when it is itself a symptom! “Look at her — she’s fine! She’s doing all the things!”
But you know that just because you aren’t stuck in bed or paralyzed by fear doesn’t mean you’re not anxious.
It can also be a sign that you’re taking on tasks in order to feel worthy. Woof. I know, that idea can hit hard. But anxiety is the queen of telling you you’re not good enough unless you… xyz. Unless you’re useful, unless you’re successful, unless you’re impressive. Better fill up that schedule if you’re going to get that validation from yourself (and others) that you’re enough.
Also, watch out — although this may seem like the opposite of that avoidance / procrastination issue, it can have the same roots. For many, this can look like keeping your schedule full as a sneaky way of avoiding self-reflection / looking directly at the problems that keep you anxious.
Bonus! Choose Your Own Adventure
If your symptoms aren’t on this list, that doesn’t mean what you’re feeling isn’t anxiety. (I legit almost wrote “don’t worry!” but that’s literally why you’re reading this sooooo.) Anxiety is tricky. It looks like a lot of different things on the outside — it can masquerade as stress, ADHD, depression, physical symptoms, burnout… even normal functioning! Or above normal functioning! What you do with the feedback your body is giving you is nuanced and based on everything from your hangups to your traumas to your values.
What’s most important is trusting your gut. I’m not here to tell you your anxiety doesn’t count. What I am here to tell you is that you are the best expert in you, and I need you to believe that too.
Manage Anxious Thoughts with the Help of Therapy for Anxiety in New Orleans, LA
If you feel like anxiety is ruling your life or driving your actions, book a session with an anxiety therapist who specializes in working with high-achievers. Being high functioning doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help.
If anxiety is becoming overwhelming, reach out to Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D. and get some relief without sacrificing your success.
Services Offered With Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D.
Are you a high-achieving woman struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, life transitions, and more? Therapy with Rebecca AE Smith, Ph.D. can help you work through your struggles or challenges to begin managing and coping with your symptoms in healthy ways. So in addition to navigating whether you’re experiencing stress or anxiety in Therapy for Anxiety, I offer Therapy for Women for those who struggle with burnout, stress, work-life balance, navigating relationships, and more. I also provide Therapy for Perfectionism for those struggling to overcome their symptoms and stress of feeling perfect all the time. In my practice, I provide online services for those in Louisiana and Virginia. For more about me check out my About Me page, Blog, and YouTube channel.